GAME ON!

As you all know, yesterday was my cousin Dillon’s (Dildo) 16th birthday (11th June), and we went paintballing!

Needless to say… I SURVIVED (Destiny’s Child ‘I’m a survivor’ playing in background)!

The day started off slow… with my mom and I arriving late at my cousin’s house. We then proceeded to River Riders via a convoy of cars. Thankfully I have GPS (Global Positioning Satellite) built into my car, so we were able to make it there in one piece.

After our arrival, we proceeded to attain our weapons of mass destruction… well not quite, but you get what I mean. Once we had our weapons, saliva covered goggles and paint sodden overalls, it was time for the battles to begin. Now, before I continue, I must say that my team had an unfair disadvantage. Of the 10 people invited to play, three were under the age of 13. Now, can you guess whose team they were on? Dildo had organised the teams in such a way, that I was coupled with his brother, Taz (Terrence 18), and three of our younger cousins: Luke (13), Ray (10) and Jam (Jean Michel 13). At least I had Taz on my side…

Once group assignment was over, we headed off to our first destination… Vietnam!

Vietnam
It was time to begin. Team B-Day (Dildo’s squad) entered the battlefield first, with team Doomed (my squad) following close behind. It was almost time… "GAME ON!". With a resonating yell the warden had signalled the start of the match, the war had begun! We moved in, but to our dismay the well organised Team B-day had already gathered some serious ground and was coming at us in full force. Now, out in the open, Team Doomed took a very uncouth approach for defence and dived in every direction to avoid the bombardment of paintballs. Separated we were as strong as a moth to a flame. Needless to say, we were creamed on the field!

After the awesome first round, I had expended my first 100 bullets. With only 200 given to each player I knew my resources were limited. A change of location was imminent, the new place of warfare… Cambodia.

Cambodia
The concept was the same, but the rules had changed, it was now a ‘Capture the Flag’ battle. Luke was designated as Team Doomed’s medic, the person to consult should you become a casualty of war. "GAME ON!" reverberated of our eardrums; the battle for the Flags had begun! We were all in, Taz in the lead, me as backup and the other three huddled in a grove near the base. ‘AH’ Taz went down, our first casualty with a shot to the leg, I was now essentially alone and where was the medic? After a valiant effort on my part, I became another statistic, with a direct shot to the forehead… EINA! I solemnly put my hands up, surrendered and looked for the medic, but he was no where to be seen and neither were any of the other players . Once again, we were defeated. Team B-day was in the lead! I immediately launched an inquiry into Team Doomed’s poor performance. I was informed that the medic had retreated due to a lack of ammunition, with Jam and Ray retreating due to the fear of becoming a casualty ! But, it wasn’t over yet we still had one more battlefield to paint… Iraq!

Iraq
The final battle was upon us, and little did we know, we were to go out in style! This time, we entered the battlefield first. With a new strategy and undeterred determination, we made our way to Doomed Headquarters. During the briefing, the warden initiated the start of war. After five minutes of silence, with the exception of the ‘whoosh’ effect of paintballs whizzing past your ear, we were all greeted with a rippling scream of utter agony. Instinctively I turned to the source of the sound. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing, it was like a death from one of those war movies, but it was perfectly choreographed. Ray had been hit! With a blood curdling scream, he clutched his belly, fell to his knees and hit the ground, writhing like a snake on steroids. It was truly a site to behold .

We immediately ended the match, with the point obviously going to Team B-Day, and rushed the distraught child to Mommy-Care.

In the end, Team Doomed surrendered to Team B-Day, out of necessity of course . Overall I had a brilliant time with all of my cousins and his few selected friends that attended. I have made a paintball album with pictures of Ray’s ‘wound of war’ (camera phone pictures) and my mini ‘wound of war’. I will eventually add more paintballing pictures once my aunt has had them processed.

Now, however, I have to worry about my two Marketing exams (Research Methods and Consumer Behaviour) that are this coming Tuesday and Wednesday .

Wish me luck!

Hans Haupt
wirtten by: Hans Haupt
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