The Holidays – Weddings, Strippers, Hangovers… & this is only the beginning!

Hey Milieu Pals,
 
I am finally on holiday! I wrote my last exam on Friday and now I have approximately 3-4 months of ‘Chillin’ Out’ before I have to go back to University… how awesome is that!
 
I’ve mean meaning to update my blog sooner… but I’ve been hectically busy! On Friday, straight after my exam, I had to go and search for a new suite to go to a close family friends’ sons wedding, which was that afternoon and then yesterday (Saturday 13/11/05) I had to go to Marco’s, one of my many cousins, bachelor party. All in all… I have plenty to tell… some of which will probably be quite explicit but I’ll try keep it as sanitary as possible  !
 
Before I continue, I just want to give a shout out to Grant Gordon and Trevor Brazier, two high school friends, who both celebrated their birthday’s on Friday 11th November! Happy Birthday bud’s!
 
Now Milieu Pals… I hope you are ready for two tales, both extreme in nature… so sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!
 
Pulling a ‘Britney’!
On Friday (11/11/05) Miguel, the second eldest son of Uncle Jose and Aunty Mathilda (very close family friends who my parents have known for over 36 years and I have thus known for my whole life), got married.
 
But that’s not all folks! The strangest part is that the wedding was organised within a period of only a single week, after the engagement and only after two months of dating. Yes, you heard correctly, a single week ! Sounds familiar don’t you think… (for a clue, refer to the heading highlighted in pick )
 
Miguel and Karen could be said to have met over seven years ago, but when I say met, I’m talking about a ‘preordained destiny that was waiting to fulfil itself’ (and that’s a quote by the way  ). In reality, they have only been together for approximately a month and a half. The couple are however, devout Christians. I mean that in every sense of the word because, among many other things, they even waited to consummate their relationship until after marriage. To me, that’s a very special thing to do and is something that I also wish to achieve.
 
Well… the marriage happened on Friday and they left for London on Saturday (no rushing hey?! ), but not for the Honeymoon as many would have thought. They have left to pursue a ‘greater calling in life’. Well regardless, they honestly did seem to be in love (only they really know the truth of their intentions) and the wedding was a success (well… for those who attended anyway, which was actually quite saddening as less than half of the guests arrived  ).
 
We all wish them the best of luck and love with whatever it is they have been destined to do!
 
Good luck Miguel and Karen and Godspeed to you!
 
My Innocent Virgin Eyes!
Yesterday, Saturday12/11/05, it was my cousins’ bachelor party. Now I have never been to one before so other than expecting to see grown men drinking themselves and especially the groom into a drunken stupor, while encouraging brainless acts of ‘macho-ism’ and of course the presence of a female form to strut her stuff to elevator like music, I wasn’t expecting too much else . But… was I mistaken!
 
My day started off fairly normally: got up, triple S’ed, ate some food, played games, you know the usual holiday routine! LOL! I then invited my cousin Terence (Cherise’s Brother) to come with me to the event as my dad was working. Now, usually I probably wouldn’t have gone as I’m still considered as part of the younger generation of family members, even though my cousins and myself are above the ages of 16 with myself coming in at 20 (I know… I’m getting so old  ). Regardless, I still went mainly because I’m going to be missing his wedding (going to Aus land with the University) and thus couldn’t disappoint my cousin more than once. So it was a little strange to basically only be around older family members with the youngest coming in at about 27 and the oldest at 45. The thing is, they had all basically grown up together while I essentially grew up with the younger generation of family members… so I’m sure you can understand what I mean. That’s not to say that I wasn’t welcome, because our families are quite closely knit. Anyway, enough about that, lets talk what happened .
 
Poor, poor Marco, the completely drunken (as is required of the bachelor on his last day) ‘bachelor’ whose reign has finally come to an end after 30 odd years of procrastination. It’s about damn time he got married! I can say that a lot about many of my older cousins (who I love dearly) who seem to have adopted a ‘new age’ means of dealing with relationships. What that means is that they go off, find a girlfriend or boyfriend (often their ‘true love’), maybe have children or simply stay together, for what seems an eternity, and never tie the knot  ! At least some of them have started to wizen up with several engagements having been announced and several more to still come… I won’t say who just yet, as I’m one of the only family members who actually know who else is going to pop the question and have thus been sworn to secrecy  !
 
The bachelor party had quite a slow start. Basically, we were all trying to get Marco drunk… and I mean ‘not able to walk/who am I’ drunk, as I have no idea what was being placed in his cup for him to drink. All I can say is that it was awful stuff as he kept coming up to me and forcing it down my throat while slurring "Cum ooooon Hanseee, be a maaaan and drink sum of da F!%$ing stufffff!"  . Oh yeah, the cup… it was plastered to his hand so he couldn’t remove it and whenever he spilt or finished its contents, it was time for a refill and the familiar chant of  "its time for you to down us a drink, d-oo-wn us a drink"! Personally I don’t like to drink much, if at all, and I have never been tipsy and have thus never experienced a hangover. I don’t see why I should intoxicate myself when I can still have the same amount of fun with a non-alcoholic beverage. However, even though I have never been drunk, watching someone else get hammered is always fun and good for a laugh  !
 
Marco was  suitably dressed for the occasion, wearing a bright pink dress with floral white trimmings and a light blue G-string over his usual undies, which he kept flashing to people at random moments while gripping his ‘tool’ like Michael Jackson (just wait until I’ve got the photographs… LOL)!
 
The evening progressed fairly quickly with plenty of booze and tons of food to go around. After socialising for sometime and watching Marco stumble and fall around his garden while attempting to continuously drink from his cup; it was time for the moment of truth, the pinnacle of any bachelors evening… the stripper had arrived  ! Now, I have been exposed to 2 or 3 strippers within my life (only at family parties) as nudity is quite normal and greatly accepted within the social confines of our family. However, the strippers never revealed more than just their lovely bosoms. One of the best performances I have seen was at my uncle Edwards 50th, the stripper was dressed like an Amazon and even had a boa constrictor that she danced with. It was very tasteful and much like that one music video from Britney Spears.
 
The stripper for Marco’s bachelor was dressed like a dominatrix with whip and all. She had red hair and was curvaceously built. Now, I will try to describe what happened in as tasteful a manner as i possibly can, but if you are under the age of 18… I reckon you should stop reading right now (yeah right… like that’s going to stop a curious teenager  ). It started off fairly innocently with poor Marco, in his drunken state sitting on the floor in front of the performer, simply burbling like a baby in pink dress and all. Those burbles slowly turned to groans of pain as the stripper whipped my cousins ‘nads’ (yeah… guys reading this are probably cringing in their seats ). The performance carried on while the stripper slowly removed her leather garments, the whole time assuming her role as a dominatrix. Eventually she just had a leather G-string… now the naive me thought that this was it, she was just going to dance some more and then it’ll be over… how wrong I was!
 
The entire time she held a very professional demeanour, after all this was her job, and never once mislead any member of the audience into thinking that she was there for anything else other than a performance. While she was dancing, we noticed a tea bag like cord emanating from her G-string, we were soon to find out what it was. After removing her G-string she was obviously completely nude. She continued to dance and flash her nether regions (I believe she had a Brazilian with an airstrip… ladies who read this will know what I’m talking about). Now bear in mind, this is my first time witnessing anything like this, a so called "hardcore" strip… yeah I know… I’m a sheltered individual! LOL! Anyway it was very interesting to see what the cord ended up being. After some teasing, she slowly began to remove the prop which resembled something like a pearl necklace  . She continued her performance and then introduced some cream to the event. My cousin was then allowed to touch her bosom (nothing else obviously) and smack her bottom. Needless to say… he was very "Happy" ! In the end, it was definitely an experience like no other. I have officially been robbed of my poor innocent virgin eyes. LOL! It was definitely an enjoyable and somewhat tasteful event with some of my older cousins finding it funny that this was my ‘first time’ seeing a performance like this.
 
Wow… after the above… I’m not sure that else to say… .
 
What I will do is post the pictures of the bachelor party once i have been e-mailed them or have access to them. Unfortunately I did not take our digital camera otherwise I would have already loaded pictures of the event!
 
Anyway Milieu Pals, I hope you are all well and enjoying life. Please e-mail me if or when you can to let me know how you are all doing. So remember to stay tuned for updates!
 
 
Until the next debauches episode… LOL!
 
Hans Haupt
wirtten by: Hans Haupt
Leave a Comment