Ban

“I’m… gonna soak up the sun”

As I write this post I am sitting outdoors in our front yard. Half of my person is covered by the shadow thrown by the lapa and the other half of myself is silently ‘soaking up the sun’. I have Lullubelle resting gently against my left leg, her undulating breathes a quiet reminder of her unconditional loyalty, while Gizmo, the resident Pugoodle, continues to attempt a rather macabre courting ritual with Chocolate, an ADHD riddled Bouvier pup. I let the dogs be and immerse myself in the sounds of modern day suburbia – cute tweets and natural chirps mixed with the growl of an angry 4×4 and the howl of an emergency vehicle. Ah, the sweet suburban lifestyle!

As my gentle fingers stroked my laptops worn keyboard I realise that placing the laptop in direct sunlight may have not been the best of ideas, hence the partial cover of the lapa. Not only was I unable to make out what was being displayed on the screen, but with every touch of a key my fingers would smart with heat from the frying keyboard. So much for durability! A laptop in the truest sense should be water proof, shock proof and sun proof. Only then will mobile computing reach a sense of true portability.

I am blogging outside today because while we were away, for the holiday season, the sun and my skin had quite a few make-out sessions. As a result I have a lovely sun kissed look which I would like to keep. That and I thought it would be nice since my family and myself do not seem to make use of our garden enough – ‘Year of the New’, remember? Speaking of the sun and the outdoors, for those interested, the photograph above is one I found by a photographer who goes by ‘Alex Skywalker’ on Flickr. There are quite a few other beautifully photographed scenes, of a similar vain, and are worth a look. At the mention of photography, I realise that I would still like to pursue my own photographic endeavours. I have been told that I have an artistic eye and a way with the camera. Perhaps ‘ could act as a gateway for my photographic exploits? What do you think?

I also started gym again today – I am committed to going from ‘Flab 2 Fab’! To be honest, I actually could not wait to get back from our holiday and start. It felt so good to get the blood flowing into my muscles, expanding every capillary and vein until bursting point, and just to feel the pump, the glorious pump that comes with hard work and determination. Yeah! Feel it! This is definitely the year in which I obtain a ‘Men’s Healthcover look and as Naruto Uzumaki would say “Believe it”! When ‘Ab Day’ arrives, I will be sure to let you all know… and see!Visual is the way to go people… but hopefully Microsoft will not try and ban me again! *Heh heh*

One more thing, I have created a photographic album with photographs from the 2008 Christmas holiday season. New Years to follow…

 

Oh My 'Chocolate Starfish' Guava!

In the previous OMG post I mentioned the fabled ‘Chocolate Starfish’ and Z’s sudden curiosity with this taboo orifice. As it turns out, she just could not resist finding out some more information pertaining to this somewhat ‘erogenous’ zone. Thus, she proceeded to ‘wall message’, publicly and without tact, some cousins of mine, and hers, on Facebook about their experiences with this ‘bottom feeder’. Her OMG actions elicited the production of this post. 

In all honesty, I cannot see the appeal of inserting any kind of object into ones anus, with the exception of medicinal suppositories. However, even suppositories elicit a result akin to constipation and a sudden explosive build up of pressure which begs for the instant and projectile expulsion of the foreign object – not unlike diarrhoea. I actually have a friend who refuses to use suppositories in the conventional sense. Instead she takes them orally. She argues that it ends up in the same place anyway, so why not?! However, a few friends of mine believe that her recent bout of emergency room intestinal cramps are a direct cause of the oral ingestion of anal suppositories. So, how do you ‘administer’ suppositories?

As far as I am concerned, the anus is simply the expressway used to ‘drop the kids off at the pool’. No more, no less. Obviously, the old adage of ‘different strokes for different folks’ still holds true since I actually know a girl who can only achieve orgasm through anal penetration. A little strange, if you think about it, since the anus is allegedly the ‘male’ G-Spot.

Just another OMG day…

*Update*

Whoopsie! Turns out that the original picture I posted of someone’s tattooed ‘Chocolate Starfish’ was against the Spaces code of conduct and thus ‘Oh My Guava’ was suspended for a while – talk about an "OH MY GUAVA" moment. No worries though, since everything has been sorted and all mishaps forgiven. You live, you learn!