Call of Duty

‘Frag’ me, ‘frag’… me again and again!

Like most men, I can be said to partially fall into the stereotype of usually being able to thoroughly enjoy anything with a lot of action, sex, nudity, blood and gore. Preferably with all of the above. So, it stands to reason, and as far as stereotypes go, that I would enjoy a good spot of frantic online gaming mayhem, with a few friends, in a game such as Call of Duty: World at War. Without a doubt, online game playing is a lot of unadulterated fun. Assuming of course your Internet connection is up to ‘speed’.

Nothing is worse than having lag within an online game. I would imagine the experience being very similar to someone who has a premature ejaculator for a partner. Just when you think you are about to score, all ready and willing, the fun is over because the other party ended up ‘jizzing’ in your face, before you could even get your skirt up, and all that is left for you to do is to clean up the mess. No matter what you do within the online portion of the game, the opposing team always has the edge over you, always one step a head. This is not because you are not any good, but simply because your internet connection happens to be slower than a 90 year old geriatric with a walking aid crossing the street during peak hour traffic (Oh how you have to love the northern suburbs).

Unsurprisingly, this ‘phenomenon’ is not exclusive to myself. Often during an online game, I will get an ear full of David and Warren graciously dropping the ‘f-bomb, among other obscenities, because of this particular hindrance. Not much is more infuriating than knowing, with complete certainty, that you have beaten the enemy, only to have them take you out because your actions have yet to be relayed, due to lag, to the oppositions system. Argh… Just thinking about it is enough to raise my blood pressure. Furthermore, there are times when it is almost impossible to join an online match. You most likely have a better chance of getting a sexually transmitted disease through diffusion than being able to play online.

All of our lag issues stem from our broadband provider, of course. In sunny South Africa we are somewhat limited when it comes to broadband Internet access. Our only real option is that of the monopolistic Helkom Telksum Telkom’s ‘DO’ broadband, which has a maximum speed of 4 Mbps and comes bundled with a pathetic four gigabyte cap. According to Telkom this is in conjunction with international standards *cough* and should allow users to ‘DO’, not ‘do’ but “DO", gaming, music and movies (check the advertisement below, so you too can ‘DO’ the Internet *rolls eyes and throws up slightly at the back of throat*). Puh-leez! If anything, it is more like users will ‘DO’ nothing, downtime, lag and inconsistency.


Telkom’s DO Broadband Advertisement

Telkom are, allegedly, in the process of upgrading the network to cater for the 2010 World Cup. Whatever! This is Africa. Already the fabled Gautrain has been pushed back to 2012 and the current abhorrent ‘road works’ to 2011. Yay… fun times ahead *sigh*!

Until the next time Milieu Pals.

Weekend Gestalt (or Ga-ga for the Crowned HA-HA’s while gaining Live experience)

As you read this… I have a mask on my face. It feels good. I can feel my skin tingle as I write this post. A few moments ago my mom ambushed me, like a Ninja in the night, and literally tackled my face by smearing the mask all over it. I protested vehemently, but to no avail. In honesty, it feels good to treat my skin. I cannot recall when last I pampered my face with a good beauty treatment.

While we are on the subject of beauty, I had my very first manicure last Friday. I have been meaning to have one for ages now, especially since my cuticles were in such disrepair. After all, a well kept hand goes a long way to projecting a good first impression.

Truthfully, I had no idea what to expect for the manicure. Thankfully, the lady who helped me, was kind enough to guide me through the process as well as patiently answer the numerous questions I kept throwing in her direction (What is this? What does that do? Why are you doing it like that? etc.)!  It was an interesting experience and one I will definitely do again.

For the rest of Friday afternoon, I went out with Wichard and searched for party supplies for Anton’s ‘Crown’ birthday party. I also picked up Halo Wars and Call of Duty: World at War for the Xbox 360 and Dawn of War II for PC. Yes… I love my gaming! In terms of gaming, I love it even more so, now that both David and Warren have activated their Xbox Live Gold accounts.

For the longest time, I have been trying to get my friends and family to invest in Xbox 360’s, ADSL and Xbox Live (I have had a Live Gold account since January 2006). After all, even my honours research was based on the positive social aspects of online video gaming in virtual environments. Unfortunately, most of my friends and family are either not interested enough or can simply not muster enough finances to join a video gaming community.

Thankfully David and Warren have come to the rescue and have, so far, been an active part in satiating my previously disadvantaged online game playing endeavours. Since Sunday, the three of us have been playing Call of Duty: World at War online, almost every evening. I have been having an immense amount of fun with my friends online! Xbox Live Rules!

Friday night, in itself, turned out to be rather interesting. Simply put, the second debauches episode of the HA-HA Chair was created! You may remember this ‘series’ from the very first episode which was posted over two years ago, right here, on . The second episode still needs some polish (more like a heck of a lot) but once it is completed I will post it on first, so stay tuned!

Saturday evening I attended Anton’s crown birthday or, as it was rightfully known as, His Highnesses Crown Birthday. Before Anton’s birthday, I was unaware of what a crown birthday was. If you do not know, it is when the numbers which signify your age and day of birth are identical. For example, my birthday is on the 5th June, so my crown birthday occurred when I was 5 years old. Consequently, Anton turned 28 years old on the 28th February.

The theme for the evening was, as you may have guessed, ‘Crowns’. Subsequently, each party goer needed to wear a crown and dress appropriately. As you can see I totally rocked in my ‘Narnian-esque’ Prince Caspian get up! The party was a blast with the best part being that I got to meet and befriend several new very cool people – all of whom are now socially networked with me via Facebook. Anton always has fabulous fancy dress parties and his 28th was no exception.

That pretty much sums up the past weekend, in brief.

Before I end this post though, I would like to mention that earlier this evening, when I went to feed my famished loving canines, I came across a beautiful ladybird that was curiously exploring Lulabelle’s bowl. According to Wikipedia, the ladybirds are from the family of beetles known as Coccinellidae and are generally considered useful insects. This is “because many species of Coccinellidae feed on aphids or scale insects, which are pests in gardens, agricultural fields, orchards, and similar places” (Coccinellidae, Wikipedia, 2009). I just thought it was pretty cool, especially since one does not see a true ladybird very often.


  By Maria Fleming

  Ladybugs all dressed in red
  Strolling through the flowerbed.
  If I were tiny just like you
  I’d creep among the flowers too



The upcoming weekend seems like it will be quite eventful too. Not only will The Red Carpet be having its first screening, but it is also the first weekend that Felicia, Diona and Renaldo will be visiting and staying over at our house. Felicia, Diona and Renaldo are my three cousins who were so unfortunately robbed of their beautiful and beloved parents. As a result, the house will be brimming with Haupt ‘familia’! I cannot wait! Right… Now to wash off the mask which has crusted on my face! Heh heh!