The Five Month Hiatus

I am flabbergasted that the last time I updated Hans’ Milieu was just under five months ago. In fact, I am appalled that I have neglected you – my fellow readers and the blog itself, which I regard as the online extension of my living entity – for so long.

So much has happened over the last several months that it would be almost impossible to detail it all in a single post. I will eventually get to updating my milieu, but until then here is a brief account of the major events that have transpired:

  • I am another year older.
  • I have almost finished my Masters – something I am both excited and anxious about.
  • I am a now Mac user – who would have thought?!
  • I have made wonderful new friends.
  • I have grown stronger emotionally, mentally and, most importantly, spiritually.
  • I am still single.
  • The Upper Palatte is making a glorious return – beginning again in August.
  • I have started a website for video games and technology: Vamers – officially launching in October.
  • One of my Tweets went viral.
  • I am committed to going from Flab to Fab by December this year – just in time for Summer.

I will attempt to update as often as possible, at least once a week from this day forward, but my education comes first. So until my Masters is complete I will be unable to update as frequently as I would like. Only a few months to go!

Until the next time Milieunairs!

‘Au Revoir’… Matey

This morning I went to the airport to bid farewell to my cousin and his family who have immigrated to Sydney, Australia.

This is not the first time that they have immigrated. As a matter of fact it is the second time. The first time they went to Dubai, where they lived for about three to four years before returning to South Africa. However, they always knew that Dubai would only be a temporary change. Going to Australia on the other hand, is an entirely different scenario. For this time they have immigrated in an attempt to begin a completely new life.

As a result, a farewell was held for my cousin and his family on Sunday 13th September 2009 at Gilooly’s Farm. You may have a look some of the pictures in the album below.

Saying goodbye is never easy. This time around though, I knew that I would be seeing them soon, thus delaying any emotional responses to their subsequent departure. Nevertheless, it still was not easy to have said ‘goodbye’. So this is for you, my cousins.

Rihanna – Final Goodbye

I know that my time is coming. For those who do not know, my family and myself have been thinking about immigrating for many years now. Unfortunately, we have not taken any ‘permanent’ measures to ensure a way of immigration. However, my plan has always been to complete one year of my Masters studies in South Africa and the final year in Australia. As a result, and should everything go as planned, I will leave for Australia by March of 2010 (next year). I will most likely post about this, in more detail, at a later stage. So… do not be a stranger!

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!


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Sushisha Madness – Raughing out Roud: Lound 2

Recently my arm has been feeling a lot better. Although I cannot drive yet, I do have the insatiable urge to get out and do anything, just to have some fun. Being homebound for almost four months can have that effect on a person. As a result, and because the last time was so much fun, I organised another session of Sushisha Madness. What prevailed has affectionately become known as, “Raughing out Roud: Lound 2”!

The all too familiar venue was none other than ‘Sushisha’, the Eastrand’s one and only Sushi and Shisha bar, located next to Jimmy’s Killer Prawns in the Key Largo Centre in Boksburg. Shisha, for those not in the know, is basically, what we in South Africa would colloquially call, ‘Hubbly Bubbly’ (also known as Hookah). Humorously, we never even had any ‘hubbly’ but we did devour the delectable Sushi that was on offer!

As it so happens, every Wednesday and Thursday Sushisha have a special where, for only R99, you may “eat as much sushi as you can”, just as long as it if from the conveyer belt. What with the recession and all, this is a great deal. A deal so good that, even when full, we could not help but abuse our already distended stomachs.

Talking about money, I am actually thinking of writing a blog post about ‘Recession Antidotes’. Basically a how to guide of going out and having a great time for less than one hundred bucks. In fact, over the last several weeks, I have gone to a few places and had amazing times for, remarkably, less than that. True story.

What was supposed to be an evening between close friends, eventually turned into an orgy of familiar strangers. You know how it goes. One friend requests the invitation of another, who just to happens to invite another two people, and so on and so forth. So from a manageable group of eight, we ended up with a distinctive gathering of 18, plus a birthday girl. Needless to say, the evening actually worked out incredibly well. It was great to meet new people, rekindle old acquaintances and, of course, spend time with good friends.

Personally, I do not think that Sushisha was prepared for us all, considering how we filled a majority of the venue. I kid you not when I say that we were actually making the Asian sushi chefs sweat like Chinese factory workers. The moment a new dish was created, we vacuumed it off of the conveyer belt. Much to the detriment of a few other customers who were left patiently waiting for our ravenous hunger to subside. In hind sight, I am quite sure that the ‘maître d’ regretted seating us so fantastically close to the mouth of the conveyer belt. Even so, the manager kept on sending over ‘shooters’ to our table. Perhaps in an effort to draw our attention away from the tiring sushi chefs. I have got to say, it was a clever move. Not only did it make us all even ‘happier’, but it spurred on the ordering of even more salacious beverages. Which lead to the formation of entirely unforgettable memories and moments. “Ra ha ha”!

Ultimately, a great time was had by all with many new memories to boot. Check out the photographic album for all the ‘Engrish’ influenced moments.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!


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Hans’ Brady Bunch 24th Birthday Bash!


I am now officially 24 years of age.

This year my birthday fell on a Friday. So, to celebrate, I went out with my parents, Aunt Magalie and Freddy, to the Butcher Shop in Nelson Mandela Square. We had a great time especially considering that there were these lovely pieces of jailbait sitting at the table next to us, also celebrating a birthday. Freddy eloquently tweeted about it citing “celebrating Hans’ birthday with him, while he’s staring at the rack behind me…”. Yes, good times! However, the real party only took place on Saturday.

For my 24th birthday I was privileged enough to be able to take close friends and family to watch Wayne Brady perform live in the Big Top Arena at Carnival City (all expenses paid). Hence the blog title Hans’ Brady Bunch 24th Birthday Bash.

To cut a long story short we all had an absolutely incredible time. It was legend… wait for it… dary! Wayne Brady must be one of the most talented people alive. This is not an over exaggeration. Honestly, I have never seen anyone perform with such a high degree of versatility. From singing to pure unadulterated adlibbing, he was spectacular. Even days after watching the show, friends and family who attended still cannot stop taking about it. If you have not seen Wayne Brady perform live, do yourself a favour and do so. Even if you are not a fan, it is, without a doubt, money well spent.


Wayne Brady: Making it up – Prince Impersonation & adlib lyrics


After the show, we all headed to Carnival Cities ‘Lotta Foods’ buffet area to continue the party. It was here that we were all able to eat and be merry! As always, my moms famous chocolate cake made an appearance, along with the gorgeous Charlize Theron!

Okay, Charlize was not physically there, perhaps only in spirit… and on my cake! To decorate my cake, my folks put together this pretty cool and totally geeky rice paper print, of a very sexy Charlize Theron who is, allegedly, thinking the following:

“Benoni boys are HOT! Happy Birthday Hans”! (Love it!)

Overall, this was one of my best and most memorable birthdays. Consequently, I would like to send out a great thank you to all those who managed to make my day just that much better by being there. You all know who you are! Additionally, I would like to give an extra special shout out to my parents. Thank you so much for everything mom and dad, without you both and the Lord above, none of this would have been possible. You both mean the world to me!


What about the presents you ask? Quite simply, I have been spoilt rotten, by my parents as well as by my fantastic friends and family. Some of my gifts from my folks are still on order. Do not worry, you will now what they are soon enough *wink wink*.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!


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HA-HA Chair – Episode 2: Royal High’s (Two Years later… still GA GA!)

Well, for all you fans who have been begging for the return of the mystical and improvised HA-HA Chair, and yes there have actually been people who have honestly been asking for more, the wait is finally over! A new and debauches sequel has officially been created.

After more than two years in the making, give or take a month, since the creation and airing of the “pilot” episode of the HA-HA Chair, is finally pleased to present:

HA-HA Chair – Episode 2: Royal High’s

This episode stars yours truly, Hans Haupt, my dear seductively and awesomely inappropriate friend, Lezanne Wolmarans and, last but not least, my wickedly strange and funny cousin, Wichard Fella.

A blurb of the episode can be found below the embedded video. Press play and go GA-GA for the HA-HA!


HA-HA Chair – Episode 2: Royal High’s



This is the long awaited (over two years) second episode, of the ‘HA-HA Chair’ impromptu series, entitled: Royal High’s.

HA-HA Chair focuses on two individuals and the experiences brought on by the mystical red ‘HA-HA Chair’. As the series expands, additional characters and story arcs will develop.

BE WARNED: You will not get the 10 minutes of your life back from watching this video! HA-HA!

Please note: an age restriction of 16 is present due to sadism, sexual innuendos, dark humour, mild language & (if you’re lucky) partial nudity.

Until the next time Milieu Pals!