Funny

Sushisha Madness – Raughing out Roud: Lound 2

Recently my arm has been feeling a lot better. Although I cannot drive yet, I do have the insatiable urge to get out and do anything, just to have some fun. Being homebound for almost four months can have that effect on a person. As a result, and because the last time was so much fun, I organised another session of Sushisha Madness. What prevailed has affectionately become known as, “Raughing out Roud: Lound 2”!

The all too familiar venue was none other than ‘Sushisha’, the Eastrand’s one and only Sushi and Shisha bar, located next to Jimmy’s Killer Prawns in the Key Largo Centre in Boksburg. Shisha, for those not in the know, is basically, what we in South Africa would colloquially call, ‘Hubbly Bubbly’ (also known as Hookah). Humorously, we never even had any ‘hubbly’ but we did devour the delectable Sushi that was on offer!

As it so happens, every Wednesday and Thursday Sushisha have a special where, for only R99, you may “eat as much sushi as you can”, just as long as it if from the conveyer belt. What with the recession and all, this is a great deal. A deal so good that, even when full, we could not help but abuse our already distended stomachs.

Talking about money, I am actually thinking of writing a blog post about ‘Recession Antidotes’. Basically a how to guide of going out and having a great time for less than one hundred bucks. In fact, over the last several weeks, I have gone to a few places and had amazing times for, remarkably, less than that. True story.

What was supposed to be an evening between close friends, eventually turned into an orgy of familiar strangers. You know how it goes. One friend requests the invitation of another, who just to happens to invite another two people, and so on and so forth. So from a manageable group of eight, we ended up with a distinctive gathering of 18, plus a birthday girl. Needless to say, the evening actually worked out incredibly well. It was great to meet new people, rekindle old acquaintances and, of course, spend time with good friends.

Personally, I do not think that Sushisha was prepared for us all, considering how we filled a majority of the venue. I kid you not when I say that we were actually making the Asian sushi chefs sweat like Chinese factory workers. The moment a new dish was created, we vacuumed it off of the conveyer belt. Much to the detriment of a few other customers who were left patiently waiting for our ravenous hunger to subside. In hind sight, I am quite sure that the ‘maître d’ regretted seating us so fantastically close to the mouth of the conveyer belt. Even so, the manager kept on sending over ‘shooters’ to our table. Perhaps in an effort to draw our attention away from the tiring sushi chefs. I have got to say, it was a clever move. Not only did it make us all even ‘happier’, but it spurred on the ordering of even more salacious beverages. Which lead to the formation of entirely unforgettable memories and moments. “Ra ha ha”!

Ultimately, a great time was had by all with many new memories to boot. Check out the photographic album for all the ‘Engrish’ influenced moments.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

 

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‘Blast’ from the ‘Past’

Hans Haupt - High school Yearbook Photograph (2003) I know that a lot of people wonder what they will look like in several years from now, but have you ever wondered what you may have looked like if you had grown up in a different time?

Well, the website tentatively known as ‘Yearbook Yourself’, has a rather ingenious solution to his problem.

Using simple, yet effective, facial mapping techniques; ‘Yearbook Yourself’ allows you to take any forward facing photograph’s of your beautiful visage and turn them into time period specific yearbook portraits.

The specific time periods on offer currently range from the century splitting year 1950, all the way to the millennium bug ridden year 2000. You may view my ‘Blast from the Past’, courtesy of Yearbook Yourself, in the following album:

An interesting thing to do, is to compare your original High school photograph (you can see my real one at the top of this post *cringe*) to those of a potential yesteryear. Truth be told, I am incredibly glad to be a child of the ‘00 High school graduating generation. Some of those ‘founding’ styles were simply horrendous (1986, 1988 and 1990; I am looking at you)!

Unsurprisingly, we all have High school graduating photograph’s, including celebrities:

Celebrity Yearbook Pictures

I hope you all have fun with this post and I look forward to seeing your ‘creations’ *rolls eye’s at the multitude of new ‘old’ Facebook profile pictures*.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

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Wordy Wednesday: ‘Vocab101’

vocab1018x61_thumb141_thumb21_thumb1_thumb[1] For those who do not know, Vocab101 is my daily attempt to find a new and interesting word which could potentially be used in everyday circumstances. The words I find range from the obscene, to the unbelievably true and, of course, the colloquial. Thus, Hans’ Milieu now has a ‘Wordy Wednesday’.

Each Hans’ Milieu edition of Vocab101 will take place on Wordy Wednesdays and will contain all the words I have tweeted over the course of one week from the previous Vocab101 session (7 days, 7 new words). Furthermore, each Hans’ Milieu edition of Vocab101 will contain additional new words which did not make the original cut, but are just as tantalising/disturbing!

Vocab101:

  • Riptag – A last minute accessory or clothing purchase, that you wear out of the store you bought it from.
  • Postmodem – The freak out you experience when your Internet connection goes dead (Do not deny it, you know what I am referring to here).
  • Yellular – The loudness one adopts in response to a bad cell-phone connection. All with the hope that talking louder will improve the signal quality.
  • Mistleho – Someone who constantly hangs around under a mistletoe, during Christmas time, waiting to get kissed over and over again.
  • Ickymaki – A frightening and often revolting offering of sushi. Usually the sushi found at the days end in sushi bars.
  • Bedologist – Someone who has explored every crease, wrinkle and soft spot attributed with a bed and knows how to sexually make people ‘sing’ on it.
  • Buddet – The female variant of the word ‘buddy’ – which is commonly used to signify male camaraderie.

Vocab101-isms which missed the cut:

  • Headhunter – A man who is always in a constant search for receiving his next session of oral sex (the act commonly known as a ‘blowjob’).

  • Assalanche – It begins as a slow, cramping, painful, and excruciatingly long build-up of faecal matter in one’s bowels; which ultimately reaches a breaking point, in which a massive avalanche of faecal matter is explosively expelled from one’s rectum.

I do hope that you enjoyed this edition of Vocab101 and that you will return for some more Vocab101-isms in the near future.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

 

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Music Monday: ‘Forever’

Hey Milieunairs,

It is Music Monday and thus time for another Vivaciously Varietal Vibe!

Rationale: Okay, look. I did not actually want to feature Chris Brown today. Not only am I not a great fan of ‘R&B’, but I certainly do not like the guy for what he did to Rihanna. In fact, I believe he should have been  sent to prison so he could have been given his ‘just-ice’ filled chocolate starfish destroying desserts.

Rihanna Beat UpThe fact that he got away with molesting Rihanna’s perfectly symmetrical ebony face, with only a slap on the wrists, is unlawful. What kind of message is the American justice system sending to the youth of the world? Evidently, if you are rich and famous enough, you could get away with almost anything. Is that not right, hey OJ? Then again, who am I to judge, considering our president, the fanatical Jacob Zuma, is a politically corrupt polygamist who enjoys raping AIDS victims before taking long STI cleansing showers?!

Although Chris Brown is a douche, he has, admittedly, produced a few good songs with addictive beats. One such song is the sexually charged Matric Farewell induced Forever. It is, apparently, such a great song that an American couple decided to rewrite tradition by using the song as their wedding march, complete with choreography. I kid you not.

Craziest Wedding Entrance Yet

Although I have determined, via an assumption, what the couple were trying to do, a valiant attempt at breaking free from the confines of conformity, I could not stop myself from gasping in disbelief while laughing hysterically at the circus which prevailed. As entertaining as the bride and groom’s entrance was, I keep wondering if they realise that this video, and those memories, will, quite literally, be around Forever. What do you think?

As always, whenever I post about Vivaciously Varietal Vibes on Music Monday’s, simply click on the name of the song to be taken to a web page that displays the songs lyrics.

Until the next time “Milieunairs”!

 

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Let me tell you a ‘rising’ story…

When we travel abroad, I always seem be susceptible to random erections which, most embarrassingly, occur during the day, in broad daylight and after utilising some mode of transport. Look, do not get me wrong, I love having an erection. I feel it is, somewhat, the epitome of a being a man. It is such a natural thing and it just feels good… no, great *begins to reminisce of the feeling… then quickly calms down*. Okay, I’m going to stop there, since there is no other way for me to carry on describing ‘the feeling’ without sounding homoerotic.

Obviously I know why men are supposed to get erections and how it happens, I am a man after all. However, what some people may not realise, is that we, as men, often do not have total control over our members, with particular reference to obtaining a ‘hard on’. Seriously, erections can occur for no other reason than, for example, holding in your almost bursting bladder, or perhaps, just releasing a pent up yawn and stretching harmlessly (your body that is, not your penis… because we all know where that ultimately leads to).

As I have previously mentioned, these ‘random erections’ usually occur when I travel abroad. As a result, and as Murphy’s law would have it, the golden rod often, if not always, makes itself apparent just as we arrive at our destination and need to disembark from a vehicle. I mean… come on. Consequently, this results in yours truly, performing some rather odd and disorienting movements, making me look like a hyperactive geriatric, in the hopes of camouflaging my noticeable ‘inflammation’. Thus far, I seem to have successfully avoided any awkward confrontations with family or anyone else for that matter. Whew!

I must confess, I did Google ‘random erections’ for this post. Unfortunately I did not find out anything I did not already know, just the standard information about how it is normal and how you need to love yourself… blah blah. It is not like it is a special ability or anything *grin*. However, I did stumble upon this YouTube video (or rather several) which offers a perfect example of how men do not have control over our members, even in a professional setting. Please be aware, the following video clip is NSFW (Not Safe For Work).

 

Perfect example of a random and uncontrollable erection.

There is another video, of  a similar vane, of Jean-Claude Van Damme getting ‘happy’ on live television. Then again, placed in his situation and doing what he was doing… who can blame him?

*UPDATE* As the interverse would have it, my blog post regarding ‘erections’ was right on the money. Apparently they are back, and as ‘hard’ as ever! Here are a few more ‘lengthy’ links:

Until the next time Milieu Pals!