Make no mistake. When I talk about a ‘guava’, not only am I referring to the corporeal fruit of the same name, but also to all of the humourous connotations associated with Eve’s forbidden fruit. Thus, when I came across this gem of a picture, I could not resist the urge to create a post […]
For those who do not know, Vocab101 is my daily attempt to find a new and interesting word which could potentially be used in everyday circumstances. The words I find range from the obscene, to the unbelievably true (which are hyperlinked in blue) and, of course, the colloquial. Thus, Hans’ Milieu now has a ‘Wordy […]
For those who do not know, Vocab101 is my daily attempt to find a new and interesting word which could potentially be used in everyday circumstances. The words I find range from the obscene, to the unbelievably true and, of course, the colloquial. Thus, Hans’ Milieu now has a ‘Wordy Wednesday’. Each Hans’ Milieu edition […]
Okay, I have become addicted to Twitter. I believe it is a fantastic way to help aid in my constant quest for knowledge, perhaps of the useless and nonsensical variety, but not always, which, you have to admit, is usually of the best kind. As truth be told, I am a shameless social media whore… […]
Today I was on the beach with cousin of mine and, for whatever reason, our topic of discussion turned to sex, as it always inevitably does. Well… my conversations always seem to end up on that ‘taboo’ topic regardless of who I am talking to. Heh heh!
Today we decided to take some chairs and sit on them near the shoreline, just close enough so that our feet could get tasted by the ocean. With the wind in our hair and the sea at our feet, we began to ramble on about life, love, the universe… you know, general nonsensical stuff. Then, out of the blue, as if we never expected it, a swell pushed a larger-than-anticipated wave toward us. Our nether regions got wet… oh so very wet (not like that you perve… although that is an interesting topic… look out for the ‘Oh My ‘Wet’ Guava’ post, coming soon)! So I, for some odd reason, immediately exclaim “Ah… my ‘johnson’ got wet and is now full of sand” to which my cousin retorted “Your ‘thingy’ only has one hole, ours is like a slot… it starts from the top and goes all the way back to the bottom… sand is the least of your problems”. After laughing ecstatically for a few moments and recovering from the freak wave, the conversation continued.
Out of nowhere my cousin asks “So, has anyone played with your chocolate starfish”? After the initial shock of her question I sarcastically replied “Oh yes, that is what every straight guy dreams of”. I then proceeded with “Maybe you should give it a try sometime. That way you won’t fall pregnant and it might satisfy that ‘tingling’ feeling in your ass that you get when you look at guys you like”. She giggled at that and then we, fondly, reminisced about what a cousin of ours usually says happens to him when he gets scared – simply put… his ‘bum goes in’!
Just another ordinary OMG (Oh My Guava) day.
(P.S.: This OMG post is a repost on Hans’ Milieu – all original OMG posts can be found here)