Poodle Doodles

A new trend has emerged. That of turning your beloved canine friend into a mobile work of ‘art’. I use the term ‘art’ loosely here, of course.

Essentially people are cutting and dying the hair of poodles and other unfortunately fluffy dogs, to resemble other creatures, such as Panda’s, Pirates and Fairy’s. It is as crazy as it sounds and the results are just as mind numbingly hilarious.

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Jewish Advantage (or The Upper Palatte ingests: Faff)

The Upper Palatte ingests: Faff For those still not in the know, The Upper Palatte is a group created to get ‘friends’ together, at least once a month, to try out new places to eat thus broadening our palate sensations – whether it may be a trendy bistro at a five star hotel or an  undiscovered earthy ethnic eatery. Members of The Upper Palatte are affectionately referred to as Upper Crusters. An Upper Cruster is a member of The Upper Palatte and consequently a part of The Upper Crust (TUC), which is the title given to the body of individuals who belong to The Upper Palatte.

On Saturday 22nd August 2009, The Upper Palatte (TUP) was finally able to regroup, after a lengthy four month hiatus, courtesy of my broken arm. This marks the third ‘eat’ since the inception of The Upper Palatte. The venue was Faff, which offers modern European cuisine, with a “sexed up neighbourhood fare” and is located just off Norwood’s bustling Grant Avenue in Johannesburg. Unfortunately, or better yet, fortunately, only three Upper Crusters were able to attend The Upper Palatte’s third meet.

Faff certainly offered quite a unique experience…

 

 

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An Unforgettable Spirally Fractured Easter

Happy Easter Milieu-nairs! Have you ever wondered where Easter Eggs come from? As you can see, a picture is worth a 1000 words – “Easter Bunny at work”! Love it! I trust you have all had a fantastic Easter filled with tons of delicious chocolate surprises and much needed family time! As most of you
-> Continue reading An Unforgettable Spirally Fractured Easter

Oh My 'Chocolate Starfish' Guava!

In the previous OMG post I mentioned the fabled ‘Chocolate Starfish’ and Z’s sudden curiosity with this taboo orifice. As it turns out, she just could not resist finding out some more information pertaining to this somewhat ‘erogenous’ zone. Thus, she proceeded to ‘wall message’, publicly and without tact, some cousins of mine, and hers, on Facebook about their experiences with this ‘bottom feeder’. Her OMG actions elicited the production of this post.

In all honesty, I cannot see the appeal of inserting any kind of object into ones anus, with the exception of medicinal suppositories. However, even suppositories elicit a result akin to constipation and a sudden explosive build up of pressure which begs for the instant and projectile expulsion of the foreign object – not unlike diarrhoea. I actually have a friend who refuses to use suppositories in the conventional sense. Instead she takes them orally. She argues that it ends up in the same place anyway, so why not?! However, a few friends of mine believe that her recent bout of emergency room intestinal cramps are a direct cause of the oral ingestion of anal suppositories. So, how do you ‘administer’ suppositories?

As far as I am concerned, the anus is simply the expressway used to ‘drop the kids off at the pool’. No more, no less. Obviously, the old adage of ‘different strokes for different folks’ still holds true since I actually know a girl who can only achieve orgasm through anal penetration. A little strange, if you think about it, since the anus is allegedly the ‘male’ G-Spot.

Just another OMG day…

*Update*

Whoopsie! Turns out that the original picture I posted of someone’s tattooed ‘Chocolate Starfish’ was against the Spaces code of conduct and thus ‘Oh My Guava’ was suspended for a while – talk about an “OH MY GUAVA” moment. No worries though, since everything has been sorted and all mishaps forgiven. You live, you learn!

(P.S.: This OMG post is a repost on Hans’ Milieu – all original OMG posts can be found here)