Google, now with Instant Previews

"Instant Preview"If you search the Internet as much as I do with the ever present and useful Google, you will know how annoying it can be to click on a website and find that is has squat to do with want you are searching for.

The good ol’ Goog has decided to tackle this issue head-on and has launched a new and undeniably useful function. So useful, in fact, that after prolonged use you cannot help but wonder, “why did they not think of it sooner”?!

Enter: Google “Instant Preview”.

Hans’ Milieu has new ‘digs’

Hey Millieunairs, Welcome to the new home of Hans’ Milieu! For the nascent among you, my name is Hans Haupt. I am a compassionate, friendly, ambitious, witty and warm person who is more than able to hold an astute academically driven conversation, while retaining a self-confessed gutter bound mind. I am also a social media
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Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra – pure ‘orgasmic’ delight?!

Every so often, I would hear Freddy talk about enjoying ‘JPO’. This would occur at least once a week. Naturally, this piqued my curiosity. What, in the name of obtuse acronyms, is JPO?

A Jalapeno Pizza without Onions perhaps? No. Then how about Jared Padelecki Online (I know Freddy and a bunch of my chick friends have a thing for that guy, it is one of the only reasons why they watch The Supernatural *rolls eyes and sighs*)? Obviously, that was also not the correct answer. Eventually, like any man will eventually do after being lost for several hours and once the GPS has ceased to function, I caved and asked him to please tell me what JPO stands for. Quite simply, JPO stands for the Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra (JPO).

In a quest to broaden my cultural psyche and taste for the fine arts, Freddy invited me to last nights performance of the JPO. However, he wanted me to experience the full JPO evening that he shares weekly with Anton. Thus, the first stop was the Sievers Manor.

Anton’s house, often like my own, was brimming with family. As it turns out, his brother, Chem, is getting married next weekend so the family was having a rehearsal dinner. Consequently, Anton had to dash in and out of his apartment several times, humorously f-bombing all the way, to attend to his familial duties. Once he was able to settle down, we were treated to a lovely home cooked beef and vegetable pie, which Anton had cooked. It was very tasty, despite, what Anton himself had also noted, the extremely rich and flowery pastry, which vehemently refused to travel down my oesophagus. This resulted in overzealous gulps of cranberry flavoured water on my part. I think Anton must have thought I was really very thirsty since, like the great host that he is, he kept asking if I needed anything else to drink. After dinner, we all chatted about the usual nonsensical stuff that friends usually talk about, before heading off to the JPO.

This was my first time at the Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra. Before last night, I had never heard classical music performed live. I suppose I never really saw the appeal. In essence the music was intensely captivating, especially when the full orchestra presented itself. Something that I really found fascinating, was the way in which the orchestra appeared to assume a living, organic being. Through each verse, the symphonic organism would undulate and ripple with clear intent and distinction. Apart from the singularity of the orchestra, it was great to watch and analyse the individuals who make up the whole. The conductor, Yasuo Shinozaki, was really quite the character. Granted there were times when I though the guy was having an epileptic fit or some kind of brain aneurysm. However, there definitely appeared to be a some kind of method to his madness especially with regards to the hypnotic use of his baton. The other highlight of the evening was being able to listen to Alexej Gorlatch play the piano. Granted he was exquisite, but man was he bothersome to watch –not unlike injecting heroine straight into your eyeball. You know, fine. I understand that people can be passionate about what they do, but when it looks like you are having a perpetual orgasm, with graphic facial visuals accompanied with clearly audible gasps of erotic ‘pleasure’, then you really should re-evaluate your stage presence. Honestly, if I had known sooner that playing a classical instrument could be so ‘sexually satisfying’, I would have started learning how to play an instrument a long time ago! Come to think of it… I reckon I will start to play the piano!

After JPO had ended, I purchased a CD of the evidently ‘orgasmic’ score. However, before we could leave, Anton and I had to wait for Freddy to get his weekly fix of ‘crutches’. Let me fill you in on ‘crutches’. ‘Crutches’ is a man whom Freddy has taken a liking too. Call it a school boy crush, if you like. Every time Freddy and Anton go to JPO, Freddy furtively glances in the direction of ‘crutches’, hoping to garner his attention. Oh ja, he is nicknamed ‘crutches’ because he… well uses ‘crutches’ – Anton pointed out that it is because his one leg is shorter than the other, or something to that effect. So after JPO, I found out that it is now a customary tradition for Ant and Fred to wait at the entrance for ‘crutches’ to hobble past. This is so Freddy can get his ‘fix’. Seriously… I was just like “Why have you not spoken to the guy yet? Just go over and introduce yourself. I will talk to him for you if you’d like?”. Being a straight guy, I really have no qualm with talking to gay guy, since there is obviously nothing in it for me. To which Freddy replied “Okay, would you just go over to a really hot girl that you liked and hand her over your number?”. Touché, touché… even though I really should learn to do that. After all, other than my dignity, what else have I got to lose? Anyway, as it turned out, ‘crutches’ never made his fabled appearance, to Freddy’s great disappointment. Thus, after two cigarettes and only a single glass of wine later, Anton was like “F#ck this, let us get the f#ck out of here already… I need more wine”!

Back at Anton’s place, we were treated to some delectable leftover ‘Sievers secret chocolate mousse’ – which, while we were out, Anton’s mom had left in his apartment for us to devour (Thanks Mrs. S.). Shortly after some more nonsensical conversations, we were joined by Delia, Anton’s absolutely gorgeous, and tipsy, ‘model’ sister. If I had to say that Delia looks like a refined version of the very sexy Scarlett Johansson, it would not be an over exaggeration. I found out that Delia is a model, obviously, and that she has many friends who would be more than eager to, as Anton so graciously put it, sit on my face, among other things,… again and again and again. As it turns out, Delia is actually a really cool person. She struck me as down to earth, intelligent and funny. The exact polar opposite of the model stereotype. Consequently, she invited myself, Freddy and Anton to the South African Fashion Week and its subsequent parties. I now think I know what it must feel like to win the lotto. I could not believe my luck… I was invited out by a model… to a model ‘buffet’! Thank you Lord, thank you! I swear… I felt like I needed a change of underwear after that! However, upon asking for the dates to this illustrious event, I was informed that the SA Fashion Week parties would take place between the 2nd and 4th April. My ‘high’ was short lived. I felt like I had been punched in the gut by a stripper, one who allows people to watch, drool even, but forbids them to touch. Can you believe that I will be out of the country during those dates? Murphy’s Law at its best! Surprisingly, in a move to mend my dashed hopes of letting some gorgeous model munch my cherry, Delia did say that there would be plenty more events like this, events I am more than welcome to attend! YES!

Overall, the evening was a great amount of fun. I really had a fantastic ‘fabulous’ time and would honestly like to have another JPO evening again, in the near future.

It may be Friday, but tonight I am going out with a few friends to, of all places, the Planetarium. I must have just been a kid, probably less than 13 years old, when I last went to the Planetarium. As a result I am actually rather excited for tonight. More so that I get to be out with good company. Oh, who am I kidding, I am looking forward to stargazing just as much!

Until the next time Milieu Pals!

Erase and… rewind?!

Okay, seriously. How many times am I going to say this?!

I have had an epiphany, of sorts. Well, I am not sure if you could actually call it that, but let us just go with it for now.

Over the last few weeks I have come to the shocking conclusion that I am no longer one of a handful of South Africans to have a blog. Yes, I know, how naive of me *rolls eyes and slaps own wrists*. Where once upon a time, almost four years ago, that statement may have wrung true, it is bewilderingly no longer the case. The feeling, I would imagine, is similar to discovering that one has not one, but several illegitimate children, all battling it out for attention of mother superior.

Consequently, Hans’ Milieu will, for the umpteenth time, be sent to the operating table for some slight nipping and tucking. However, this is not to change the visual style of the blog (although that is not entirely out of the question), but merely to re-evaluate my writing style. As it so happens, I will be reverting back to my original ‘style’ of writing, the personal no hands barred kind. Really, this will be a breath of fresh air, not only for myself, but, most certainly, for you the reader. Subsequently I will make it my goal to breathe new life into this ageing blog of mine.

For the keen eyed among you, you will see a South African Blogger Award badge to the left of Hans’ Milieu. If you click on the badge, you will be taken to the SA Blogger Award website where you can submit a nomination for yours truly. I have already submitted a nomination for myself, go figure, as well as for Louisa and Freddy. For those who have been with Hans’ Milieu for all of these years, I would just like you to know, that I would appreciate a nomination. Okay, that is enough grovelling on my part 🙂

Something else I have been thinking about recently, is how should I end off my blog posts? I have noticed that some people use signature phrases, like Freddy’s “light and love to all”, whereas others just end the post, without any kind of conclusion. Personally, I would prefer to have some kind of signature. Then again, is one really necessary if the blog only has one author?

I do remember, what feels like a lifetime ago, that I used to use the phrase “until the next time Milieu Pals”… Okay… I just had a nostalgic moment. You know what?! I actually still like that phrase and do believe that I will continue to use it.

Anyway, I am off to torture my body now… the perils of the gym await…

Until the next time Milieu Pals! (Ha Ha! I really do like that)!

Huh?! Looking for older posts?

Dearest Milleunairs, If you are looking for any Hans’ Milieu  posts pre-dating the 1st January 2009, please click here. I have attempted to move as many posts from Hans’ Milieu’s original location to the new site. However it is an incredibly time consuming process as each post needs to be moved over individually. I do
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